The Virgin Diaries

By Alex Anderson

"Just do it!"-Nike

Virgins have issues around sex that prevents them from experiencing and enjoying it. They make sex out to be some grand and extraordinary event, which puts too much anxiety and pressure on them to get the job done.

But I'm not going to be talking about the majority of virgins, just the ones who read this website and other websites that are intended to help them get good with women.

The main issue I see with virgins who read up on relationship/dating advice sites is that they set their standards for the first time so high that it prevents them from having sex at all.

Virgins make sex out to be some life altering experience putting too much importance on it and unnecessary pressure on themselves. Sex is great but the majority of sex you have will be so so until you find a girl who is amazing and really does it for you-its not as special as you think.

They do this in order to cause themselves pain on a deep unconscious ego level. The ego is very good at deceiving you into thinking you are doing the right things by having standards, when in fact you are doing all the wrong things. The guy who has little experience will learn how to have standards and qualify girls in order to NOT have sex.

Some of the qualifications for a girl they will lose their flower to are: she must be amazing looking, into spirituality or yoga, smart, follow a mans lead, high vibing etc. What they fail to realize is that while it's great to have standards, they themselves won't qualify to get this girl. The guy hasn't enough experience and know how to be able to handle a girl like this. They won't attract this girl into their lives because the girl is more advanced then they are-you only attract a girl who compliments you and is on the same level or frequency. This type of girl will only date someone who has this material down.

Their situation becomes a catch 22. They want to have sex but only with a girl who qualifies but in order to get the girl that qualifies they need to experience less qualified girls first. This push pull of anguish causes pain (what the ego needs to survive) and the ego reaps all the benefits.

Reading about dating and relationship mastery online can actually work against a guy who is a virgin if he doesn't apply the information that's being taken in. He learns what a relationship is and how to do things correctly and puts unnecessary pressure on himself to live up to that imaginary standard he has created. He begins to expect too much of himself because he has the knowledge and therefore should be able to perform at that level and should be able to get a great woman.

It's similar to reading all about baseball and expecting yourself to hit a home run the first time out. It takes tons of bad hits and failures in order for a guy to get good with women and get what it is that he truly desires.

Reading about relationship/dating information online is not the same as being able to do it. Knowledge is not the same as wisdom. Wisdom is doing. In order to be able to attract the kind of girl the guy wants to lose his virginity to he must first have experiences and grow from them.

The ego knows exactly what is going on. It knows that he can't get the dream girl he desires because he hasn't enough wisdom to get her and keep her. He will stay a virgin for a good bit of time and eventually get so fed up he will lose it to any girl that says "yes." Immediately after he does lose it, he will beat himself up for not doing it with his dream girl, causing more pain.

My advice: find a decent looking girl who you are attracted to and have sex with her. Who knows, she might turn into the perfect girl for you. If not, this experience will help you grow closer to the point where you have the wisdom to create a great relationship.

"Perfection is an illusion. We become great by learning from our failures"

http://www.innergamereframe.com - What a Real Relationship Should Look Like