How to Overcome Fear of Intimacy Easily

By J J Seymour

The fear of intimacy is a common, understandable, and ultimately very tragic phobia. The fact is that intimacy is frightening and dangerous, by its nature. It has always been this way. The idea of surrendering ourselves completely to another person is enough to make many people panic, especially if they've been hurt before in intimate relationships. Tragically, many people suffer from this fear all of their lives. Imagine: to never experience the joy of love, all because of a social phobia. Help is needed, for the millions of lonely, isolated people out there, afraid of intimacy.

What Is Intimacy?

The experience of intimacy is different in every relationship. At its core, the phenomenon involves two or more people who can be completely candid with one another, yet still maintain separate identities. It's difficult to be completely honest with another person: you can tell that other person "everything" about yourself and your past, yet still feel blocked off and nervous in your interactions with that person. Being completely honest with another person means there can be no hidden motives to your interactions.

The Dangers Of Closeness

The kind of closeness described previously can feel very dangerous because it requires complete trust. To be intimate with another, you must be certain that the person you're intimate with won't condemn you or judge you (or lie to you, or harm you in other, more obvious ways). You have to be completely honest about your motives and, at the same time, be certain that the other person is completely honest about their motives. At the same time, in the face of that complete closeness, you have to retain the confidence to still be yourself.

Many people find this prospect to be daunting. It takes a lot of work for any relationship to reach the stage of complete intimacy. People can develop lasting, seemingly insurmountable phobias of this dire process for a number of reasons. Perhaps they've been betrayed in the past by those close to them. Perhaps their parents told them to hide their emotions. Perhaps, as children, the victims of this social phobia were beaten when they displayed vulnerability of any kind. Perhaps, in an early romantic relationship, a significant other started cheating on these people (for reasons of his or her own) the moment they found the courage to open up.

Techniques To Combat Fear Of Intimacy

Whatever the reason, fear of intimacy can lead to lifelong loneliness and a string of unsatisfying relationships. To be able to connect to other people successfully, you must overcome your fears. An effective way to do this is through hypnotherapy and NLP (neuro-linguistic programming).

These advanced, fast-acting therapeutic techniques teach you to recognize what is preventing you from achieving optimum closeness in your relationships. You won't be asked to delve into your past, or relive old traumas. Rather, you'll be asked to go through the thought process that the idea of intimacy triggers in your brain. Once you learn to recognize destructive thought patterns in yourself, you'll be able to reform those thought patterns. Your fear of intimacy could be cured with cunning and speed.

J J Seymour is a writer with Self Help Recordings. Hypnotherapy and NLP can be very effective in helping you to overcome your Fear Of Intimacy - one good source of experienced hypnotherapists and NLP practitioners is Just Be Well. This organization has experienced professionals throughout the UK in London, Birmingham, Bristol, Buckinghamshire, East Anglia, Leeds, Manchester, Newcastle, Surrey, Sussex and Scotland. You will also find links to related practitioners for treatment of fear of intimacy in Vancouver and Toronto, Canada, for Dublin, Ireland, and for Sydney, Melbourne and Perth in Australia. These people deal with a wide range of fears and phobias and for more information on issues treated go here - Social Phobia Help.