By Levi Reiss
Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle we all want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We won't promise that our article will automatically send you and your intended partner to the bedroom. But it may help you improve your sex life. This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help you get what you want. Here we look at uptight, usual, and victim.
U is for uptight. Don't be uptight. Loosen up. Let your hair down. Go for it. If you are uptight, it will stay tight, no matter which end you are holding up. But if you loosen up, you and your partner may end up loose as a goose. Leave the stress outside of the bedroom. And leave the stress outside of the road to the bedroom. Isn't life complicated enough? If she's too tight there is reason for both of you to be uptight. But if he's too up, the situation is much less uptight. I'll leave it to you to decide what makes you more uptight, when she's too loose or when he's too down.
U is for usual. There is something about routine that kills a sex life. There is nothing wrong with accompanying the usual partner but that doesn't mean you must follow the same boring old script. Try doing something different tonight. And if sex is restricted to nighttime, why not take a day off and spend a day on? Put on some different music, take off some different lingerie, and try some different positions. Just be prepared to see the usual chiropractor. But frankly, it may be worth it. Now, if you are really facing medical issues don't do anything unusual before clearing it with your usual doctor.
V is for victim. I'm not talking here about the really ugly stuff. Some people require restraining orders and perhaps a long period of reeducation. Some can be reformed and some can't. What I am talking about here is a different level of victimization[ one that isn't pretty but does not call for police or judicial intervention. Stay away from someone who can't handle a give and take relationship. And don't victimize others by always insisting on having it your way. I'm talking about you Tim and you Vic or Victoria. Human relations including sex should be a two-way or in some cases a three-way street. For one person to "win" another doesn't have to "lose". The most fun is when you both break even. You may have to go another round for a tie-breaker. Just don't trip and break your tie.
Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.
Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine wine, eat fine food, and enjoy life. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. Among his many web sites he is particularly proud of his new site celebrating all kinds of love including physical love at http://www.sexsexesex.com. You will find a wide range of jokes, articles, and quotes devoted to various aspects of sex and a great collection of photos. If you don't know French, enjoy the translations. Check out his global wine website at http://www.theworldwidewine.com. |
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