Is Premature Ejaculation an Issue in Your Relationship?

By Greg O Simpson

We prefer to use the phrase "early orgasm" instead of premature ejaculation because that may not be what you are experiencing. Of course, if orgasm happens within seconds of penetration, after only a short arousal period, that may be the case. On the other hand, if you have been working up the sexual tension all day, spent a long time in foreplay and air is thick with passion, then early orgasm may be the result of poor self-control or pure abandon.

The latter issue can have its merits, if both partners understand that is what is going to happen or you are under serious time constraints (read Quickie). And sometimes, you really do have to take care of yourself to be able to clear your head to take care of your partner. Also, if you are able to continue sexual activity even after the first orgasm, then just focus on having more of them! As many as you can!

The more pressing issue and the one which we want to focus on today is the former - poor self-control.

Poor sexual self-control is not something to be ashamed of. Our entire society is designed around instant gratification - gotta have it - gotta have it NOW! So instead of looking at the issue with shame, look at it with a desire to improve. First, you have to recognize that you are having trouble controlling your ability to hold off. Second, you have to realize that by holding off, you will experience something much greater.

Self-control is a skill that can be developed with practice. The easiest way to practice is alone, during masturbation. By focusing on yourself you will be able to read your body's signs, indicating that you are about to orgasm. What you want to do is stimulate yourself the way you like best and bring yourself to a point "just before" the point of no return and then stop all stimulation and let the energy dissipate. Then begin again and bring yourself back up the arousal ladder. Repeat the cycle as many times as you can. You might miss the "just before" point the first couple of times, as it is not something that you are used to, but don't worry. Just keep practicing.

As you get better at reading the signals, trying changing things up when you restart the cycle. You can change the intensity, try different erogenous zones, change your breathing, change the image in your mind, etc. Learn to read the changes you experience and how they affect your arousal. Over time, you will be able to sense when it is time to change and know what you need to do to slow down your arousal cycle so that you can last longer and achieve a much higher state of arousal and ultimately a better, stronger orgasm.

Also, don't forget to practice this during your actual lovemaking as well. You always learn faster when thrown right into the fire and this fire is only going to get hotter and hotter.

This article is written by Greg Simpson, one half of a very orgasmic couple. Men and Women, You can become more orgasmic too, alone or as a couple. We are dedicated to helping committed, loving couples improve their sex lives. Visit http://www.orgasmsforlife.com and sign up to get our excellent content and newsletter.