By Judy Barton
For thousands of singles, this new age relationship design can, and does present as a cure-all for numerous age-old dating woes, while taking friendship to a new dimension. It is not a new concept, however, today's singles are merely more open and receptive to the many positives it has to offer and the freedom it allows. But is it truly sharing or does it constitute abusing the privileges of a friendship?
The skeptics paint a picture of booty calls, bed buddies and degradation. They view it as a clear violation of the rights and privileges of friendship. Some see it as impossible to accomplish given the processes of human nature and the emotional issues relative to intimacy. However, for the growing number of participants, it presents as an extension of friendship and a refreshing manner of bonding. It is viewed as a positive alternative to the traditional standards of love, dating and relationships. It allows for our most basic of human needs to be met safely while providing a sense of belonging and normalcy in a not so 'normal' society and lifestyle.
For many it means the elimination of the dreaded 'one night stand'. Needs are satisfied by reaching out to the warmth and security of friendship rather than settling for the emptiness felt in a dating encounter. It replaces the loneliness felt in self-pleasuring with the therapeutic benefits of another's touch. It fills a need for the 'no strings attached' sexual relationship and is a practical alternative to the risks of sex with multiple partners. It provides a trusting atmosphere, which promotes a continual exchange of the positive sexual energies necessary for satisfying and fulfilling experiences.
Aside from the many sexual advantages, other factors make this relationship a practical and preferable choice. It addresses issues of safety and the health risks that plague our society. It alleviates being trapped in the cycles created by many of the dating pitfalls. It offers an environment conducive to less restrictive and inhibitive communication where discussions of sex and other normal life experiences are not taboo. As a result, it provides a comfortable atmosphere for the exploration and experimentation of new ideas and designs.
Each couple sets the tone and clearly defines their rules, limits and boundaries. The idea is to provide a complete understanding of the expectations so that there is little risk of misunderstanding or hurt feelings. The relationships are as unique as the individuals involved. For some there is no need for formal agreements or arrangements. They simply do what feels natural for them and is mutually satisfying. Others find it important to design a well thought out plan of action. In the final analysis, it works, and no matter how they choose to deal with the terms of their relationship, it is a satisfying, fulfilling and rewarding experience.
As with any relationship, it does not come without flaws or obstacles. There are many positive emotional benefits but it does require mental preparation and maintaining the proper mindset. It is imperative to stay focused and be mindful of the traps. This aspect can present an ongoing challenge but the positive benefits overshadow any negatives. The 'friend with benefits' relationship is far from the traditional ideals and standards, however, it has proven to bring great rewards and is a fabulous asset in today's complex and chaotic world.
Judy Barton |
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