Problems in Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Starting With F

By Levi Reiss

Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle we all want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We can't offer you an article, magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will automatically send you and your intended partner to the bedroom. However, I really do believe that you can perk up your sex life whoever you are.

This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help you get what you want. Here we look at fight, filthy, and formula.

F is for fight. We have heard all about make-up sex. Make-up sex can be great. And you have to fight for it. Do you know anyone who is dumb enough to provoke fights for the make-up sex? Such people are taking a big chance. Fighting, while inevitable, can wreak havoc on a relationship. It's so tiring, both physically and emotionally. There is always the danger that someone will get hurt, either physically or emotionally or both. On the other hand there are couples that live in the fear that a simple fight will split the relationship wide open. Try to keep your disagreements from degenerating into fighting. And go for disagreement sex.

F is for filthy. While a dirty joke can be fun both in and out of bed, filthy clothes or a filthy body can be a real turn off. Who wants to kiss lips that reek of tobacco, except perhaps another smoker? And who wants to smell yesterday's perspiration on their partner's clothes or body? I won't go as far as saying that cleanliness is close to godliness but I am no fan of dirt or foul odors. On the other hand, mud wrestling looks like fun. As is the community shower, before and after.

F is for formula. Show a little imagination. Don't trot out the same old lines that you used before you became an item. Don't trot out the same old routines. You are dealing with (or hoping to deal with) an individual, not a mathematical equation. Vary your stock. No two people are the same. Over the life of the relationship whether measured in days, years, or decades neither you nor your partner remain the same. Human chemistry is a lot more complicated than the contents of a high school or research scientist's chemistry lab. But while you shouldn't do what you do by formula, you don't want to start from zero. The challenge is to find a happy medium.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine wine, eat fine food, and enjoy life. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. Among his many web sites he is particularly proud of his new site celebrating all kinds of love including physical love at http://www.sexsexesex.com You will find a wide range of jokes, articles, and quotes devoted to various aspects of sex and a great collection of photos. If you don't know French, enjoy the translations. Check out his global wine website at http://www.theworldwidewine.com