By Trudy-Ann Ewan
Saturday night, the crowd is jumping and the music is jamming. I was on the prowl. In walks one of the hottest guys I ever seen. Tonight looks promising and he's definitely coming home with me tonight. After a few drinks and a couple of dances that looked like we were making love in the club, we hailed a cab and half hour later he's in my apartment. With a touch of a button, slow music starts pouring out of the stereo.
After a few drinks of Stone's Ginger Wine, sexy sounds of Usher slowly wafting from the speakers of my stereo, we were ready to make love in my club. He was good, very good and I had a lot of fun but all good things eventually come to an end. I looked at the alarm clock on nightstand and it was reading 6a.m. I was in a good mood, so I'll let him sleep for another hour after which it would be time for him to go. An hour later I woke him up, called him a cab, thanked him for a wonderful night and went back to bed with Usher still playing in the background. Later I got up and called my girlfriends and told them all about the hot stud I picked up last night. Good memories. That was a one night stand!
Ladies, we all have a wild side, which we would like to explore and let loose before marriage, husband and kids begin to take up our time. So before you loose your precious single minutes begin living up your single life. There are no rules that say that you can't have and enjoy one night stands. It's not something that was invented just for men. But in order to handle a one-night stand, there are a few things to know first. While there is no need to be polite, there is no cause to be rude either unless the one night stand is having an attitude. If the sex was great then that gets them a ticket to spending the night, but if it was not that great, he needs to leave right after it's over.
Wish him a safe ride back to his place, turn the double locks in your door, take a shower and go to bed. Maybe finish that bottle of Ginger Wine. For a sleepover to occur there has to several redeeming factors, the sex was phenomenal, it's very late at night and there are no trains or taxi's that early in the morning. Also, it depends on the distance they would have to travel to go back to their place. With all those factors, then it is OK for them to sleep over for the next few hours until dawn, but at the crack of dawn they have to be up and out of your bed and your apartment.
A one night stand is not the beginning of a relationship, so there should be no dates the next day. That includes, brunch, dinner, supper and any other get together activities, unless it's for a repeat of the night before. You are not friends, it was just sex. If one party wants more out of the one night stand, then said party needs to consider a restraining order, because there maybe a potential stalker in the making. A one night stand is not a pre-cursor to a long-term relationship. Usually, when an individual partakes in a one-night stand, they have no intention of seeing the other party again.
Unfortunately, for one young lady who had a one night stand while on Spring Break in Puerto Rico, only to return to New York and run into the guy at her workplace on the first day of her new job. Not good. However there is one exception to the non-relationship one-night stand rule. There are times when a one-night stand can become a repeat situation. It can stand on its own or it can turn into a friends with benefits situation, which is a where you both get together every so often for some good sex, then that is an on-going relationship with some obvious restrictions. In this instance it is easy to develop some deeper feelings. If this happens you either express your feelings immediately to the other person and see if they are on the same page or you pull back from your involvement with this individual.
There are a few exceptions to one-night stands. If there was an emotional/spiritual connection on the dance floor, that means the sex will be phenomenal. Usually when that happens, by way of the connection, engaging in light, easy going conversation is ok. With that comes a feeling of relaxation and you may turn your one night stand into a friend's with benefits situation. Let things flow naturally. Do not look for a one night stand to have possibilities. Ladies, if you are looking for possibilities and start to have expectations, then be advised, forewarned or just plain have a friend slap you upside your head as a reminder, do not enter into one night stands. You will not be able to handle it.
This no-strings attached behaviour is not for the faint of heart. You have to be emotional stable and not be on the hunt for that special someone. A friend of mine had a one night stand while on vacation in Paris last year. It was a fitting end to a night of dancing and high energy. The other party seemed mature enough, but then after a few Mojitos and Caipirinhas all hot guys would seem mature. When the night was over, she thanked him and went back to her hotel. Since the guy was cool, she had given him her cell number and a year later he still calls to talk about that night being the best night of his life. And he lives in Paris! He just doesn't get it that it was just sex while on vacation and nothing more. My friend had to change her number.
One night stands are very common especially among college students. It's very easy to hook up with a dorm mate or with other hot college students partying on Spring Break. However, one night stands occurs all the time between all sorts of people. As long as the participating individuals act responsibly then it's their prerogative. Some people frown on one night stands and understandably so.
There are downsides to one night stands:
-You do not know the person you are taking into your apartment and that can be dangerous.
-You may not even reach home and then if no one knows where you are then you can be in even worse danger.
It is important at all times that if you do decide to have a one night stand, call a friend and let him or her know where you will be for the night or who will be in your apartment at 4am in the morning.
However, ladies, do not get in the practice of having only one night stands. Remember, that while they can be enjoyable and exotic especially if you are on vacation in an exotic location, continuous one night stands are empty and have nothing long term to offer.
| About The Author: Trudy-Ann Ewan, Founder and Director of Create Your Passion Enterprises, is a Creative Life Coach, Author, Freelance Writer, Photographer and Motivational Speaker specializing in the art of helping individuals to create their passion by defining who they are. To learn more sign up for her monthly newsletter on: http://www.createyourpassion.com or join her social network where you can participate in her exclusive discussions at: http://createyourpassion.ning.com |
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