Problems in Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Starting With H

By Levi Reiss

Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle we all want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We can't offer you an article, magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will automatically send you and your intended partner to the bedroom. However, I really do believe that you can perk up your sex life whoever you are.

This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help you get what you want. Here we look at hold back, hurt, and hypocrisy.

H is for hold back. Don't hold back or you'll never get a chance to hold her back. Go for it. Faint heart never won fair lady, or for that matter fair gentleman. Obviously I'm not talking about breaking a restraining order. If you have a restraining order, start over with someone else. And do it right this time, which in your case means holding back. Now the discussion returns to regular people. Don't hold back. If you spend your time thinking, maybe today is not a good time to call, perhaps I should wait until after I finished the house painting or the Henderson project someone else may take your place. And when you are finally in the bedroom or hayloft, don't hold back. Make it a time to remember, to cherish, and to repeat as soon as possible.

H is for hurt. If you confuse violence with sexual pleasure you really should look for a different website. Even better, look for a doctor before somebody, perhaps even you, gets hurt. But there's important stuff to realize about hurting even if you are not a sicko, and I truly believe that most of us are not. Don't hurt your partner emotionally. I don't mean only the ugly stuff. But don't take out all life's little and big frustrations on someone who means a lot to you. Do you remember the song: "You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all?" sung by Fats Domino, Peggy Lee, Kay Starr and many others. Prove them wrong. One more thing; if you are hurt don't go overboard stewing about it. If necessary get a restraining order. But if it's just the hurt of a heartache get over it. And get out there. The best revenge is a great relationship. And plenty of hanky-panky.

H is for hypocrisy. Don't be hypocritical. Don't set standards for your partner that you couldn't or wouldn't meet yourself. Don't demand fidelity if you have no intention of being faithful yourself. And don't pretend to be someone that you are not. Don't think that hypocrites have all the fun, even if they can live with themselves.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine wine, eat fine food, and enjoy life. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. Among his many web sites he is particularly proud of his new site celebrating all kinds of love including physical love at http://www.sexsexesex.com. You will find a wide range of jokes, articles, and quotes devoted to various aspects of sex and a great collection of photos. If you don't know French, enjoy the translations. Check out his global wine website at http://www.theworldwidewine.com.