By Chad Hunter
Solutions to sexual issues begin with approach of the problem. Sympathize with her rather than attack her. As much as it's bothering you and frustrating you, it's bothering her too. Your wife loves you in heart, mind and body and she doesn't want to be this icy, sexless ghost. She wants to be the best woman for you in all ways and falling short romantically is not only causing her emotional pain. It's also worrying her. Begin by talking to her and listening. Give her reassurance that you're not resenting her or looking elsewhere. Let her know that you sympathize and are aware it's not easy for her. Assure her you're in it with her and that you're not leaving her, especially to get sex elsewhere.
Now that you've established sympathy and approach, be prepared to help. Low sex drives can have multiple causes and multiple solutions. Step up and research, call therapists and buy items to aid in the mood. Send out the signal that you're an uncaring lump and you'll be working against the pursuit of physical intimacy and sex. As your wife sees you trying to help her because of love and not out of desperation, it can show her she's not alone. Communicate about sex and its role in your relationship. Converse with her about your sexual needs, her needs and what is going on in the marriage. Although we may wish they would, low sex drives rarely ever go away on their own and never by being ignored.
Not talking openly and honestly about sex gives room for ignorance, fear and negativity to creep up in your relationship. Communicating with your wife will tell her that you're in this and you're truly her partner. Don't be afraid to ask questions about possible causes, both physical and emotional. Your wife may have past experiences or physical feelings tha are damaging her sex drive. Exploring into who she is can aid in unlocking any issues. If there are health issues, libido can surely drop. Remember you are not there to fix her but you are there to talk with her and help her. Seek out a therapist. Your wife can be heavily influenced by emotions. Sexuality can be deeply rooted in how she feels. Find a a counselor your wife feels comfortable with. You can help her talk out issues but you're not qualified to dig deep into who she is. Additionally, if she has no regular physician, have her find one. She may then begin to speak about possible physical causes.
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