By Erica Goodstone, Ph.D.
As a practicing sexual, relationship and marital therapist for over two decades, I have begun to formulate the following concepts about sexuality and sexual functioning:
Our sexuality it an intrinsic part of our self and our life, not separate from who we are as a man or woman, young or old, attractive or unattractive, healthy or unhealthy.
Our sexual response is a natural bodily function involving a complex feedback loop with the brain, spinal cord, neuromuscular system and pituitary gland. It is designed to function as intended unless interfered with in some way.
Our mind is our major sexual organ with its propensity toward imagination and visualization, anticipation of the future and remembrance of the past as well as its ability to sense and interpret all internal and external stimulation.
The second major sexual organ is our skin along with all of our senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch) but especially our sense of touch.
Healthy sexual functioning involves adequate neural signals from the central nervous system and an optimum balance within the autonomic nervous system, fluctuating between the stress response (activation of the sympathetic nervous system) and the relaxation response (activation of the parasympathetic nervous system).
Sexual arousal (vaginal lubrication and penile erection) is a neuro-vascular event mediated by the autonomic nervous system. Adequate central nervous system stimulation triggers the male erection reflex at spinal cord segments S2, S3, and S4. Adequate parasympathetic stimulation triggers the relaxation of smooth muscles and blood flow within the penis as well as female vaginal tissue engorgement and lubrication.
Orgasm and ejaculation are neuromuscular events. They require adequate central nervous system stimulation to trigger the male ejaculation reflex at multiple spinal cord levels, receptors in the skin of the penis, firing of the pudendal nerve causing compression of the penile urethra and rhythmic smooth muscle contractions and vascular constriction as well as female orgasmic response, a similar but more diffuse response that may be mediated by the vagus nerve.
Sexual desire is a mental-emotional-sensational event which may operate separately from our natural sexual functioning. In other words, our body may be able to perform sexually without our feeling desire or we may feel sexual desire without becoming physically aroused.
As a practicing body psychotherapist, focused on relationship, sexual and body image issues, I have discovered that:
Our body is a hologram, an intricate web of local and distant interconnections.
Our body is composed of energetic, fluid, electrical and chemical responses, all influenced and controlled by our mind.
Our body doesn't lie. It tells the truth if we pay attention and listen.
Bodily symptoms are often metaphors for our mental state, our beliefs or some other aspect of our life needing attention.
Memories and emotions, stored within our bodily tissues, can be evoked through any of our senses, but are often more easily accessed through touch.
Touch is a powerful way to become aware of what our body is doing.
Awareness is the first step on the way to change.
Change is scary. It requires stepping out into the unfamiliar, facing confusion, fear of annihilation, fear of losing control of one s life, and fear of total abandonment.
Release of bodily tension patterns, verbal expression of fears, desires and emotional responses in the presence of a skilled and caring therapist can facilitate change and harness integration of the changes within a newly constructed sense of self.
As a somatic body psychotherapist, I am uniquely trained to facilitate awareness, change and integration within the body-mind system of our clients. How does this relate to sexuality and sexual functioning? As I stated at the very beginning of this article,
Our sexuality is an intrinsic part of our self and our life, not separate from who we are.
If you understand and believe this as a truism, then you can assist any client who presents with a sexual issue, concern or complaint in the same way that you would deal with any other life issue. Listen, pay attention to the client s words and body posturing, observe their breathing and habitual movement patterns, encourage them to describe the verbal and nonverbal communications within their most intimate relationships, explore with them their unique beliefs, fantasies, behaviors and sexual response style. Then assist the client to become aware of bodily response patterns, metaphors and meanings, through your own specific method of body psychotherapy. If you discover you are dealing with some countertransference issues or unresolved sexual concerns of your own, then seek out supervision from a qualified body psychotherapist or nationally/board certified sex therapist.
| Dr. Erica Goodstone has helped thousands of men, women, couples, and groups to develop greater awareness of the issues in their relationships and their lives, to overcome and alleviate stressors and discords, and revitalize their relationships and their own mind-body-spirit connection. Dr. Goodstone can be contacted through her web site at http://www.DrEricaWellness.com |
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