By Susan Derry
If you are not getting all the sex you would like, check to see if you are guilty of any of the following "turn-offs." Avoiding some or all of these no-nos could help spice up your love life.
1. Participating in Activities that Leave Either of You Feeling Used or Dirty
What is sexually arousing to one person may be a real turn off to another. Your activities in the bedroom and elsewhere should never leave either of you feeling dirty or used.
2. Letting Work, Parenthood Or Other Stresses Make You Celibate
Let's face it quality time for each other and for lovemaking will not happen without some forethought and commitment. If your relationship is important to you make time for bonding.
3. Expecting Your Partner to Turn You On
Making love to a corpse is not a turn on for most people. Be an active participant and enjoy touching as well as being touched. Take some responsibility for getting yourself excited.
4. Letting Your Appearance Go
Yes your partner should accept you for who you are, but even an old house looks better when it is painted and cared for. Take care of your physical self. Exercise, eat properly, and get enough sleep. A healthy you is a sexy you.
5. Sex Only on Saturday in the Bedroom, in the Dark
Too many prerequisites for sex can dampen the mood and kill spontaneity. Be willing to experiment and expand your sexual repertoire.
6. Questionable Body Odor
Wafting body odor is a huge turn off. Be respectful of your partner, wash before sex. It is also a good idea to shave what needs shaving.
7. Criticism in Bed
Nothing kills the mood faster than criticism about body or technique. Offer compliments not criticism. It is important to talk about what you want in bed, but do it in a positive way. Talk about what you want, not what you don't like.
8. Distractions and Interruptions
Keeping one eye on the television or answering your phone during sex is a definite no-no. Create some uninterrupted time to enjoy each other.
9. Obsessing About Hiding Your Body
Allow your partner to love and accept you as you are. Problems with body image can hamper your love life.
10. Ignoring or Taking Each Other For Granted
Ignoring your relationship is going to have consequences in the bedroom. Pay attention to each other and take time to strengthen your relationship.
| Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C. |
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