Problems in Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Starting With R

By Levi Reiss

Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle we all want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We can't offer you an article, magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will automatically send you and your intended partner to the bedroom. However, I really do believe that you can perk up your sex life whoever you are. We present a double series of articles for the letter R.

This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help you get what you want. Here we examine reckless, regret, and resent.

R is for reckless. Don't be reckless or you can wreck plenty of lives. Or start lives without the decades-long parental commitment that children deserve. Part of the answer is enclosed in the simple phrase; no glove, no love. But even with condoms people can be reckless. When it is obvious that your potential partner is craving a serious, long-term relationship and you are not, at least not with that person, a sexual relationship is reckless. Obviously your viewpoints need not coincide perfectly. But when one of the players wants something and the other wants just about the exact opposite even a one-night stand would be reckless.

R is for regret. Does anybody here know one of Edith Piaf's signature songs: Non, je ne regrette rien, written in 1956, first sung by her in 1960. The literal translation is No, I regret nothing or more simply No regrets. The past is past. Learn from your mistakes but don't spend time crying over spilled milk or there won't be many liquids spilling in your bailiwick. And the wick? That's wicked. One more pun to regret. Back to the song, I just learned that it was dedicated to the French Foreign Legion which at the time was very active in the Algerian War. Back to the sex question although one might imagine that the French Foreign Legion is not entirely foreign to sex. The time that you spend regretting the lost opportunities is time during which you may lose more opportunities. And more regrets.

R is for resent. Don't resent your partner's previous sex life or love life. What happened before you came on the scene is none of your business unless the eX is still in the picture and it's not clear why. Don't resent your partner's present friends. Of course you have to have a clear understanding of how the sexual story with friends works. You really do have to hash that one out or someone will end up being a Sloppy Joe or a Sloppy Jo. Now if you never talked about such things before the fact you have something else to resent; your own stupidity.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.

Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine wine, eat fine food, and enjoy life. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. Among his many web sites he is particularly proud of his new site celebrating all kinds of love including physical love at http://www.sexsexesex.com - You will find a wide range of jokes, articles, and quotes devoted to various aspects of sex and a great collection of photos. If you don't know French, enjoy the translations. Check out his global wine website at http://www.theworldwidewine.com