By Neo G Anderson
Today, more American couples than ever are suffering the emotional devastation associated with infidelity, stagnant sex lives, and lack of intimacy. These common marital issues often result in ruined relationships and it is reported that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. This is an alarming statistic the root cause of which warrants examination.
Certainly, every relationship goes through rough spots and requires constant work. However, over time, so many married couples begin to lose the connection that initially brought them together. This often manifests itself in cheating and generally reprehensible behavior. In some cases, the cause of this is a general complacency or absence of sexual connection. When this occurs, one or both partners may stray and engage in extra-marital affair.
All humans crave variety and excitement. There are very few of us who have not fantasized about being with a co-worker or neighbor. However, there is a way to satisfy these urges without ever being unfaithful to your partner. The swinger community, or those who engage in "couple swapping" has discovered a way to maintain healthy relationships by removing many of the stressors associated with committing to a single sex partner for life. The secret is this: A couple engages in this form of entertainment together so the issue of cheating is eliminated! In fact, there is no other group that frowns on infidelity more than swingers.
Many find that the excitement, anticipation and after effects of couple swapping provides a charge to what may normally be a "vanilla" sex life. Consider the bond and sense of unity that is created by planning a date or visiting local couples clubs together. Also, compared to a single's life, a swinger always has a "wingman" and knows exactly who they are going home with at the end of the night. The risk of not finding the right connection on a given evening is virtually eliminated! Swingers also experience a greater sense of appreciation for their partner in that they see how attractive their partner can be to others. This often creates a great resurgence of romance for a couple that has been married for some time. Finally, the simple fact is that playing or having sex with others you are attracted to is just plain fun!
Those who have considered couple swapping often have real, genuine concerns. These are certainly well founded as the concept of swinging goes against what most of us were taught by society. In order to successfully engage in swinging, married couples must be in a loving, committed relationship. Otherwise, the process of exploring swinging will be like throwing gas on a fire. There are a few things that you should be willing to accept before ever making the intro to swinging.
- A couple must confront insecurities about themselves and potentially in sharing their partner with others. If the mental anguish associated with swinging makes the experience horrible or creates a high degree of jealousy, then swinging may not be for you. It is essential that individuals get over personal hang-ups and embrace a sense of self-confidence.
- Communication is the key ingredient to ensuring a successful entry to the swinging lifestyle. If both partners have not agreed on rules and how best to proceed on every detail together, then disaster will be the inevitable result.
- A married couple must be so confident in their relationship that they can emotionally separate their love for one another and the simple act of having sex. This seems counter-intuitive in that most of us have only had sex with those we love. While sex is certainly a way to show love, on the biological level it is more about physical pleasure. Have fun with it.
In the event that you and your partner may be interested in couple swapping, the next obvious question is how to get started. There is no typical route in that some couples take small, deliberate steps while others stumble upon it by chance. The easiest and least risky way to meet those in the "lifestyle" is to visit local couples clubs. While this can seem intimidating at first, the vast majority of swingers are courteous, classy and not pushy at all. Simply explain your situation and they will be pleased to share their experiences. Most are interested in making friends long before jumping into the sack. It is as easy as searching the Internet for the lifestyle or couples clubs in your area.
Alternatively, many find that there is a mutual attraction with another couple that they are already friends with. Often, this is characterized by flirtation or sexy talk during parties between drinks. If you are feeling adventurous, suggest an intro to swinging game such as strip poker, spin the bottle or truth or dare. These games often provide an "innocent" way for couples to begin swapping on a very mild level without fear of rejection or awkwardness. Married couples party games are the perfect way to establish comfort while exploring swinging. After all, it is just a fun, sexy game that is being played - not full swapping. Who knows, as the game play heats up and the clothes start to come off, you might find that you already are a swinger!
In the end, those who choose to engage in couple swapping should do so only if in a stable relationship. Swinging is an absolute blast and can reinvigorate a stale sex life. Don't take yourself too seriously, constantly communicate with your partner, and most importantly, HAVE FUN!
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