By Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D.
Seems like everything is tied in with the Olympics in Beijing this week. Well, why not sex? Taoist sexual practices hold wisdom for every lover, whether Asian or not. If you know anything about the practice of Tantra, then you will find many of the Taoist practices to be similar.
There are several primary principles behind Taoism that can be applied to sexual practices. First and foremost is "chi," or energy. If you watched the opening ceremony of the Olympics, you saw a celebration of chi. Chi is the energy that is part of everything that exists. Another related concept is "jing," an energetic substance in the human body. When you lose all your jing, you will die. The Taoists believed that jing could be lost through bodily fluids, including semen, and so Taoist men would avoid ejaculation in order to conserve their jing.
There are different ways that a man can conserve his jing, or life essence. One way is to pull out just before orgasm when having intercourse. A second way is to press the perineum (the area between the scrotum and anus) in order to send the ejaculate back into the bladder. (Don't try this at home!) Another way is for a man to learn how to separate the events of ejaculation and orgasm. By stopping the pelvic floor from contracting, a man could keep himself from ejaculating and still have an orgasm.
Fortunately, jing can also be created through sexual union between a man and a woman. Lots of sex was considered to be good for a man's health and longevity. (So go for it!) Unfortunately, as might be expected from ancient Chinese practices, women were sometimes seen as a means for a man to retain his jing. On the other hand, because women did not give up any fluids, they were seen as being strong.
Taoist sex manuals also include information on when and where to have sex. For example, lovers were to avoid making love during storms, eclipses, earthquakes, and other events, which could cause ill health or offspring that were defective in some way. Taoist lovers were also to avoid having sex by the light of the sun, moon, or stars, near a temple, in a well (!) or near a grave or coffin (!)
If you want to adapt these ideas for your own Olympic sex marathon, one good thing to do would be to think of sex as creating jing, or energy. Many people complain of being "too tired for sex." Can you imagine how tired you would be if you were a Chinese person living 1500 years ago? If you looked at sex as creating energy instead of taking it, you might have more desire!
Another idea to quickly and easily put into practice is chi. When you have sex, think of you and your partner raising and exchanging energy. Energy is a sacred substance, and so when you are making love you are doing something special and sacred. Slow down, look into each other's eyes, and breathe together to honor and create chi.
| Dr. Stephanie Buehler is Director of The Buehler Institute in Orange County, CA. As a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist, she specializes in helping couples discover better intimacy, in and out of the bedroom. You can download her free E-book, "Sexual Discovery: 25 Secrets for Incredible Passion" at http://www.yourpassionexpert.com Dr. Buehler is frequently quoted in the media, most recently in Esquire, Time Magazine, Redbook and Self. She is the editor of the Women's Sexual Health Journal and considered an expert on the subject of sexual health for both men and women. To find out more or to reach Dr. Buehler, please visit the website. |
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