By Levi Reiss
Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle we all want to improve our sex life. Who wants to be alone? We can't offer you an article, magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will automatically send you and your intended partner to the bedroom. However, I really do believe that you can perk up your sex life whoever you are.
This article focuses on the problems and pitfalls that prevent you from improving your sex life. Another series focuses on what you should be doing. Both our "negative" and "positive" suggestions will help you get what you want. Here we look at object, obsess, and offend.
O is for object. We have now gone beyond the point of treating people as sex objects. Wanna bet? Try to remember that you are dealing with a real, live person who may be the object of your desires but is no object. Your potential partner will object if you treat her or him as an object. Precision time. She will almost certainly object. And he, I think the jury is still out on that one. Your Honor, I object. Objection overruled. Objection sustained. Would you rather be overruled or sustained? I'll leave you to judge that. For some people money is no object. For the rest of us (and them too) looking at it objectively, our partners should be no object, even when sex is the objective.
O is for obsess. Did you ever see the movie The Story of Adele H (France, 1975)? It seems that the second daughter of the famous French writer Victor Hugo was so obsessed with a certain Army Officer that the last time she saw him she didn't even recognize him. Many people thought that her behavior was exaggerated but those in the know, know that the story rang true. Remember, if I'm obsessed with you; it's not about you, it's about me. Your role is very secondary. (If at all in the worst cases.) By the way this movie stars the obsessively beautiful Isabel Adjani. More than three decades later some still obsess.
O is for offend. Don't think that just because someone has offered you his or her body and portions of the associated soul that you are entitled to offend said person. You shouldn't offend others, even if they explicitly deny you access to their private parts. Why do people go around doing such things? Is it perhaps because deep down inside they believe that their partner should have said no? Let's hope not. Go on the offensive to combat any tendency to offend. When people know in advance that you aren't the offending, you may have to fend off advances. I prefer fending on advances.
Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.
Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine wine, eat fine food, and enjoy life. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. Among his many web sites he is particularly proud of his new site celebrating all kinds of love including physical love at http://www.sexsexesex.com - You will find a wide range of jokes, articles, and quotes devoted to various aspects of sex and a great collection of photos. If you don't know French, enjoy the translations. Check out his global wine website at http://www.theworldwidewine.com |
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