By Deb Allen
For some of us a relationship without sex is nothing more than a friendship. But there are many long-term and very successful relationships that do not include sex. So the question becomes whether sex is a necessary component at all or if it is simply a fulfillment of lust.
To begin this discussion I would like to explain that many relationships are started out of a physical attraction for one another. Some people would say that this phase is a period of lust. In essence, the partners may find that they not only enjoy each other's company but also that they have a desire to have sex.
During such a stage in the relationship it is likely that the couple will have frequent sex and that it will be both fun and exciting. This stage usually lasts for a few months.
Then the couple is likely to move into the second stage of a sexual relationship which is designed around romantic love. For many couples this stage will last from about six months to two years. During the time although some of the lust may taper off the sex remains frequent and very enjoyable.
For many people this phase is optimal because the love relationship seems to deepen and a real connection between the partners becomes apparent. The bonds strengthen and the relationship acquires a comforting element which lends itself to longevity.
As time goes on the couple is likely to experience the next stage in their sexual relationship. During this period a mature love develops. The sex may diminish a little or a lot and some of the excitement may be missing.
It is during this period that problems often develop. As the break down in the sexual relationship happens there may also be problems with the communication in the relationship. The lack of communication coupled with the decline in sex can result in trust issues.
Some couples progress to the point that their relationship is built on dynamics more commonly associated with roommates or brothers and sisters than that of a couple. Although relationships go through various phases it is important to maintain the appropriate dynamics if the relationship is to continue to blossom.
Over a period of time sex can decline to the point that the couples feel uncomfortable with the topic. One is afraid to approach the other so sex becomes a missing component in the relationship. Even if the desire for sex is there it may seem to be completely out of reach.
Couples in that situation probably need to start slowly. Jumping into bed to have sex may not sound appealing. I suggest that the couple work on less threatening ways of building that intimacy level back up first. To begin I suggest that the couple spend time cuddling. I know, that sounds trivial but it really is important.
Simple steps like including a few hugs throughout the day can make a difference. Then progress to holding each other and gazing into the eyes of your partner. Soon you should spend time holding one another in bed. If you do not start this way then progress to holding each other while you are naked. By taking things a step at a time you are likely to freshen some of those feelings and desires that were once so natural and compelling.
Make your relationship the best it can be - whether it's just beginning, it's long-term or you are getting back with an ex you can strengthen your bonds - find out how, view videos and get a FREE report about relationships at: http://magicalmakeups.blogspot.com/ For more about romance & relationships visit: http://fitinsidenout.com/Romance.html Debbie Allen is an Internet marketer & writer |
